Of Reunion and Back to Service

Ok how to describe today..It's nice, feels great to reunite with old friends back in my music learning days, with our fav music teacher haha. But of course there's more to that.

I've finally decided to back in service. No wait, make it The Service. Yes that's right, back to God's service (i.e. back to church). Been contemplating this for a long time, ever since I came back from CF camp last week. Been thinking of which church to go to, and decided to follow my teacher instead. Oh well, having someone familiar to be your company is a good encouragement and also it's feel good to be back after what happened back in my old church which was frankly ugly and not worth describing here.

This reunion is also a chance to get a clearer picture of certain things, some of which involved friends of mine, and also regarding my old church. Relieved that I'm able to set the things straight, give another side of the debate and also getting a clearer picture of other things as well.

So is it meaningful reunion? Well yes..yes it is!!=)

PS: Car went well today. God's prayer worked. Amen!! XD

How Great is Our God

It's been a while since i last updated. Ok wait, make that a VERY LONG WHILE haha. So let's start with a spiritual side this time shall we?

There's no words to describe just how great God is. And I can be a testament to that as well. During the last exams about a few weeks ago, I was really stressed up in the days leading up to it. The news about high failure rates in the engineering faculty is not really helping at all. So once when had some family dinner time outside, I happen to flipped on the bible app on my phone and found this verse: 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." John 14:1


And it was like "WOW". God really spoke to me. And I must say that from the moment I accepted Christ until now, that has been the most intimate moment that I have with Him. He knew that I was troubled with my studies and He being the Almighty just said "Do not let your hearts be troubled". And I must say, it definitely guide me through during that week and although I'm still stressed up over it, but I know that God is there for me.

But a relationship with God is like a human relationship. It has to be both ways. One can't simply   expect God to provide everything for you and you didn't do what God desired. God is God, not a genie in a lamp. And I do admit I'm guilty of that from time to time.

So that brings to the CF camp I went three days ago. It's in Chefoo, a Christian centre in Cameron Highlands. The speaker there was Pastor Dave, awesome, funny and at the same time, charismatic as well. He drove the point of a series of verses in Matthew 5:


¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Why salt and light you may ask? Well, salt provides flavour to everything arounds us and light provides brightness to their surroundings. So we should strive to be the salt and the light, not just any salt and light though, but THE salt and THE light that God desires. A salt that flavours and light that shines selflessly, without favour for anyone. As what Tim-Berners Lee typed: "This is for everyone". 

But camp is not all business though. Had a great time there, met new people, ber-bonding for sure and being in the committee as worship coordinator, had a good opportunity to serve God in a way made possible by Him. 

2nd night was memorable. Pastor Dave preached about how we need to love our enemies no matter what and gave a series of real life stories of how people being the salt and light that they should be, touched and saved the lives of people around them. And in the prayer that followed, I reflected on certain acts I did before and broke down, realising that the things that I said and done before, once thought was right, was wrong. 

So there I was, wanting to reaffirm my relationship with God and now eager to carry out the great mission given by Him. 

Here's another great story to share during camp with you guys. In the last day during worship (I was the keyboardist then), I was honestly skeptical about it, practice was only done an hour before since the night before was full devotional prayer through the night as said earlier. But once again God really did His miracle. Of all the worships done before, never has a worship practice done so smoothly without any major hiccups. Worship was really excellent, this song was sung and the lyrics really caught on to me.

"I'll stand..with arms high and heart abandoned..in awe of the one who gave it all..my soul longs to you surrender it all..I am is yours"

Totally reflect my feelings towards Him after the three days of reminder for us to be the Salt and Light (yes with a capital S and L) =)

The journey will be long and difficult, but with His help, I believe this will be possible. Amen.

The End of a Chapter

So this is it. The end. The finale or whatever you call it. The end of a year in MMU, the place where I am now. If you won't mind, let this be a summary of what happened during that year:

Time really do flies. Still fresh in the memories of me being here for the very first time: a naive, sesat-case, 18-year old coming here not really due to a want but a need. Orientation was kinda fine, though surprisingly I wasn't that home-sick as I might think I will.

In a class of about 60 ppl of different characters from different places. I remember me searching for someone I know or met before, only to find myself disappointed. It doesn't help that I can't find anyone from my orientation group in that class (although later I found out Kimberly was there...hehe)

So throughout that one year, I've met really nice and funny people, though there are some bitches and assholes along the way. Some such as Michael and Kok Kee have introduced me to their rather peculiar interests (non-mainstream if you may say), which is not a bad thing since it helps in introducing me to a whole different side I may never discover myself. And you can always find them for a good debate on politics, something that I'm rather fond of.

There's Sam (my going to be ex-roomate) whom I can rely on in sharing a secret or some of my personal feelings (some say that both of us are like brothers..i dunno). You can trust on Govind, Eugene (nata as most of us call em) and Jackson to really crack things up when it's time to let your hair down. You can trust on Sean to be there when having a nice chat or a good time (we even have a drink together earlier before).

But there are those who I find rather manipulative and will only seek you when needed and otherwise won't give a damn about you even if times are rough. However, I consider most of them to be friends, though whether they consider me likewise is up to them and not for me to decide..haha. All in all, is a good mix of interesting people that I do find comfort to be around.

There are those who say that universities help to discover who you are. Well, I havn't really discover my true self yet so far. After all, there is still four more years to go before I really leave this place for good. But I can sort-off sense my heading for now and maybe should tell myself more not to follow too much of others and be the true identity that you are. Well, that's an ongoing process that has no definite limit in time.

So here are the credits: Thanks to all that have found me as a person who they can trust, depend on and possible share a good joke or two along the way. My apologies for those who may have feel hurt or betrayed due to anything that I've said or done. Sorry if I may not be the jolly carefree person that you may want, for that's never my style and I don't think I'll ever be. For those who wants to know me more, well there's always a time to have a chat.

But hey, there's still a long road ahead and the next page is waiting to be written. But as for now, this is it, well, the end.

Nostalgia

This is a video that I discovered through one of my friends on FB. It's simply just a video of our time in primary school. And I must say, whoever did this really deserve a standing ovation. Lots of memories really flood back into my mind while watching this short but nostalgic vid.

To be short, I can say that about 90% of what I experienced in my childhood in SKTKJ (that's my primary school's name btw) is in this video. From the Luna colour pencils to the morning perhimpunan where a stocky discipline teacher will be there asking you to 'baris lurus' and asking the shorties to stand in front...lol. Even the games played are the same as well.

Well, just watch and enjoy it  yah. Hope it will bring back your own memories whether good or bad ones just as what it did to me through this vid. XD

Compromising Stand

Ok how should I start this one. It's hard really. Some say it's best to take a firm stand on something you believe in. Others might say it's wise to compromise and find the middle path to satisfy everyone. So which to follow?

I was once the latter. Perhaps being born as a single child forced me to be so having to be an involuntary mediator to find peace from 2 opposing sides (if you know what i mean...not in a meme way). Is either that or having to face the thought of yr pillars of strength crumble in front of your eyes.

But throughout my years in school as well as right here in uni, it begins to feel that sometimes a "No" maybe the best answer, although it maybe hard to utter that word sometimes. Doesn't matter if that person is your friend, your roommate or even your parents. Once again perhaps it's just me trying to strike a balance but what do you know, life at times is like a pair of binary numbers is either 0 or 1, never a bloody 0.5. 

So what if I chose the 0.5 at the wrong time? Well, as shown what happened recently, the 0.5 somehow "rounded up" itself to 1 (sorry for the maths analogy...bit too much maths in my head right now) and as a result, a person I know gets hurt, possibly offended and just turned off. I suppose my mistake of not telling him about it just serves to deepen the wound I caused. Call it intuition, but the facial language does tell it all. 

I suppose a sincere apology is never sufficient for this level of hurt. But it's only the best I can do. Now the ball is in his court and I wish he will accept it and leave the dark matters behind. That for me is what a gentleman will do. Whether that will be a reality has yet to be seen.

On another note: here;s a song that I would like to share. You may have heard it on radio before and for me its really calming and soothing after all the trials and problems I have been facing these last few days. Enjoy.

Errors

It can be anything. An error in judgement, an error in thought, most importantly, an error in actions that lead to a whole bunch of things gone awry and yr day is ruined.

It's quite unfortunate that my actions yesterday caused harm to others, particularly to a friend of mine. Call it peer pressure if you want, but I was 'pressured' to do something that if common sense is used, will be deemed absolutely stupid. So for that, Kok Kee if you're reading this, I apologise for what I've done that afternoon. Doubt those few words will relieve my feelings of guilt and I hope you will forgive what I did, even if you're possibly filled with rage or anger or sadness. No worries for I'll take responsibility for what happened.

I suppose that day was a challenge on my faith to the great Father as I succumbed to temptations that harmed everyone. If only I can turn back the clock to undo my mistakes.

Speaking Out

We live in a democratic country. Which gives us the right to voice our opinion, right? So that's exactly what I did kinda last week. Here's the link for those who are interested: =) Enjoy and really appreciate your feedback..XD

 http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2012%2F1%2F13%2Ffocus%2F10230616&sec=focus